Reader Comments

Mend The Marriage

by Jerome Princy (2019-10-20)

As a society, we seem to be Mend The Marriage Review acknowledging the cost of family instability. We're looking for ways to address the problem. Welfare reform, teen-pregnancy prevention, abolishing the "no-fault" divorce, chasing down runaway parents and prosecuting abusers are just a few of the legal and social remedies being considered. The cry for "family values" is heard across the land. I don't believe we will succeed in imposing family values through institutional measures. Maybe we can create a climate more conducive to family stability but that won't solve the problem. People won't give up their own freedom to choose, not in America. Nor should they. We cherish our right to make the same mistakes over and over. We ought to replace some of this family values chatter with information about "marital values". Marriage is the beating heart of the family. Sadly, most people don't know that marriage is not just about love for another person. It's about transformation of the self. To do marriage right you must be willing to let it change you. This is not an easy thing to bear and yet most of us need to change some things about ourselves in order to reach our full potential. The problem is that it hurts. People often seek to change partners in order to avoid having to change themselves. That's what having affairs is about, too. With a new partner you can run all your old games again. You can use your bag of tricks to convince someone that you are who you wish you were. If you can make it stick then you can believe it yourself. Unfortunately this won't hold up. As soon as anyone gets close they start to reflect you as you really are. Once again you're faced with the need to change. Or hide. Or run. The high art of monogamy is in facing who you are as reflected in the eyes of your partner and, of course, allowing them to do the same. You have to give up your illusions about yourself and about your partner, too. That's when the real adventure begins. Thinking about your once little princess getting married can inspire you to say many things for your mother of the bride toasts. The picture of her first step when she was a baby comes back into your mind. The time she threw her cap during her college graduation day makes you smile. You will reminisce every great story and memory of your daughter. Remembering wonderful moments from the past will help you on what to write for your speech. The great way to start your speech is to thank everybody for supporting and witnessing the marriage of your daughter. It is a blessing to have all these people around during the special day of your entire family. You also need to recognize your new son-in-law for everything he had given and shown to your daughter. As a mother, you know how it feels to nourish a child. So you also acknowledge the presence and dedication of the groom's parents for building up a very good son. Welcome all the members of the groom as part of your family on that very special moment. Beginning your speech with flattering and gracious remarks is a good start to get the attention of your audience.